How we Die – Part 2
We all hope that we, and our loved ones, will die peacefully and without pain. We all hope this is what actually occurs and find peace when we have said good-bye after a long life or a long fight or when we simply know it is time. Death is truly for the living. Those left behind are here to process the process and understand the indiscernible.
How we die physically is generally left to the doctors, nurses and hospice providers. How we die spiritually or emotionally is left to the rest of us. It is here that we often find our greatest struggles within ourselves and with others. Some people want to talk about it while others simply cannot. Some want to hear and ask questions and be present while others cannot. It is all OK. We cannot all be in the same place at the same time or see things the same way with the same understanding. We are all different in other aspects of life, why not in death as well?
Remembering that we all have a role to play is helpful and incredibly relieving. Some have the ability to be strong early on and step in and step up to make decisions, coordinate meals, and articulate plans and needs. Others may be incapable of this but once the person dies, they have already grieved and can then step in and step up. This tango of responsibility is why it is so important that we have others around us when we are going through such struggles. This allows others to be strong when we cannot. And it allows us to lead when others are barely able to follow.